Imagining the Future is a kind of Nostalgia

(The title of today's blogpost is not from my head, but from author John Green's head, or more specifically his wife's head apparently.)

The following are the thoughts I scribbled in my notebook as I sat by the beach for the last time today:

As I was walking down Arlozorov Street, I was thinking of StarKid, this musical theater production company that put on a Very Potter Musical, A Very Potter Sequel, Me and My Dick, and just recently, Starship.  StarKid is a group of college friends that started this production company together in L.A. (or Chicago?  Must check which one, I have heard both).  I was thinking how freaking awesome it was that this group of normal, non-celebrity type performers had enough determination to procure the resources and means to do something this cool on their own.  Then it occured to me that being given the opportunity to do something on your own is sort of what Walkabout is for.  I had a little moment of self-satisfaction as I walked down Arlozorov in the stifling Israeli heat, full after eating a falafel pita alongside Ayelet at the Berensteins' store, because I felt that I was just as cool as the StarKid people.  (The fact that I believe a group of nerdy theater kids who wrote a very smart, witty musical paroding Harry Potter, one of my favorite book series, and are now continuing to write such silly musicals as Me and My Dick (all about high school romances) and Starship (hero is Bug from BugWorld) should say something about my definition of the word 'cool'.)

I realized the difference between myself and people like the StarKid production company is that while I certainly take advantage of every opportunity that comes my way, these guys make their own opportunities.  And maybe I do that to some extent, but I think what this entire Walkabout experience has taught me - CCT included - is that awesome things and meaningful experiences exist in the universe, but it's up to me to make/take the opportunities to discover them.

I used to believe that when it came to helping people less fortunate than myself, if I had the ability to help, I had the responsibility to help.  Now I believe that about increasing the awesome in the world.  If I CAN create, then I SHOULD create.  I think what I would regret the most about my life at the end of it is if I looked back at all the times I could have been doing something really cool and awesome to help people (directly or indirectly) and instead found that I had wasted my time caring about things that didn't matter, or sat on my butt wasting my life on Facebook.

Currently I am sitting on a bench just outside the sand of the beach.  I am listening to the most appropriate song for the sea: "Haiti" by Arcade Fire.  It's 3:21 in the afternoon.  Soon, I'll be going back home to Ramat Gan to finish packing.  Soon, but not now.

I will miss my freedom and I will miss this country, as warped and twisted and contradictory as it is.  I am ready to go home now, but I know my love affair with Israel is far from over.

"Haiti" by Arcade Fire 
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